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After spending 20+ years in healthcare, the decision was relatively easy to return to school.
May 2018 …Bachelor's Degree Fine Arts, Two-Dimensional Studio Art University of Arizona. Graduated Academic Distinction/Cum Laude |
Real Life & Updates… |
Life is very fluid these days, and has been since COVID changed the world for all of us. I still dream about participating in the Artist in Residency programs through the National Park Service, or exploring a residency program somewhere in Europe. But…life has its own timeline.
My father passed away mid-2019, and my sense of normal changed forever. I was his person for emotional support, physical help, etc, since my mom died. Nothing prepares you for the grieving process of the person you are closest too. I was fortunate and very grateful to my father in his last years. But death brings a new set of challenges, and brings out the absolute worst in people who are supposed to have your back. I have learned boundaries are necessary with blood relatives, and family is truly defined by who steps up and supports and not destroys. Late 2023 brought changes into my personal life. It meant closing down my art studio/business, and working in a very limited capacity (I was living in a little casita temporarily). It meant no more weekend markets. By early 2024, my artwork was in three shops. My expectations were evolving to maybe this was better. And as the year continued, I took the time to evaluate my future regarding markets and weekend shows. No one talks about how truly grueling these are - physically, emotionally and financially. I joke and say how I can never compete with people shopping for cupcakes, soap and earrings. There is some real truth in that joke though. Perhaps my art is best suited in perfectly curated shops so that people can see what a painting would look like in a home, as opposed to sweltering under a market umbrella laid out on a table? And since the majority of my studio was packed and in storage, I had to change what I was able to produce for these shops.. The challenges haven’t stopped even though it is now 2025. My dream of owning a place to live and create changed to finding a rental far from where I was living. My part-time job (think non-art, steady income) abruptly ended March. A few months later, one of my established shops fabricated an issue (at the beginning of busy season), which led me to sever ties. I was devistated that ended a friendship with someone who I considered family. Add into the background: still. dealing. with. family. drama. And I could no longer ignore the signals my body had been sending to me for the past couple of years. All the years of stress and surviving have finally caught up. There was no amount of ibuprofen I could take to counter the physical pain I was in. I have learned that for me, painting is an emotional practice (i.e., creating “happy paintings” requires a certain place of emotional levelness; when one is struggling with constant mental upheaval it is difficult to find level). As my body has ramped up pain, my inner-muse has shut down. I have spent weeks not painting and not being productive trying to rest, heal and cope. I am learning to listen and take care of myself after decades of ignoring stuff…but it is a very slow walk forward. No one said being an artist would be easy. I was discouraged from being an artist more than I was ever encouraged. But, when I paint, I am my most happiest. I know I am on the right path for me - no matter how fluid it might be. |