Have you ever wanted something so badly that it manifests into an ache in your chest? I'm not talking about waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. This is something that feels like a part of me is missing. Like there is an untold story waiting for me to find the words to tell the world. When you've wished for something for majority of your life....well, when is it a part of who you are, or when is it just a dream? That is Italy for me. Il destino. Every time I look upon the art of Italy, or learn another little bit of the language, or dream at night of cobblestone streets that I walk along, I feel that ache that something is missing from my life. That part of me that is missing. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fulfill this dream of traveling to Italy. I thought it would be relatively easy to combine it with my schooling (study abroad program), but the reality is, the older you are, the harder it is to just up and leave for a chunk of time. And the cost...well, I'm not wealthy by any means. I'm part of what you would consider the working poor. It's a goal to get my bachelor's degree. It's a dream to go to Italy. I've worked really hard and sacrificed sometimes it feels like everything to accomplish my schooling. How do I make Italy a reality too?
This semester is off to a bang. So much to do. I'm feeling the crunch that I'm never going to have enough time to get through projects. My second art history course is iffy if I'm going to take it or not. There's only so much time and having three studio art courses with major projects due in each... Feeling the bite of stress nipping at my heels.
I'm excited about my painting project. Here's a portion of my proposal that wrote for class:
Do we, as artists, ever really think about how light impacts a painting? Are we so busy creating that we miss the subtle nuances? Depending on the light source, the saturation and hue can change; the composition and form can change; how the light evokes emotion and storytelling in the painting can change. Or is light one of the many instinctive parts of the artist’s creative process that just is?
My project is to explore how light impacts composition and saturation of color, how it alters form and how it can evoke emotion in the audience. For the series of six paintings, I will spend two-and-a-half weeks on each: two painted in plein air; two figurative study; two still life. The use of daylight and its impact on a landscape will be studied at differing times of the day, if possible, differing seasons. How natural light versus filtered light impacts skin tone. And finally, how does candlelight versus incandescent light change a simple still life.
This body of work is meant to help me understand light as a key to composing my painting, as well as storytelling more than an in-your-face focal point. I anticipate that by the end of the 15 weeks, I hope to paint instinctively and with intent, and less with overworking and analysis. I wish to paint more from my heart and less from my head. And if I can fall somewhere between Caravaggio and Carr with my own personal mark, even better.
So there you have it. Sometimes my paintings speak to me. This project is one that I've been thinking about for weeks now. I just hope I have enough time to give it justice. Speaking of......it's time for me to publish this blog post and get busy with Italian homework. Have a good week everyone and do something nice for someone. Oh yeah...one last thought.... Sometimes you have to push through your fear to make your dreams come true. It's worth it. It's all worth it.