I'm sitting here, feeling rather deflated. First (and always anymore) I am tired. Physically my body doesn't want to keep up this pace seven days a week. And if you are physically in pain for extended periods of time, that begins to drain you mentally too. I am SOOO thankful that I decided to not pursue the trip to Italy as well as Italian language this semester. Getting rid of that added stress helps with trying to keep up with coursework and studio work. Even though I don't want to stretch our or delay this process any longer, I needed to give myself a break. It certainly doesn't get any easier the older you get. If anything, this is really hard physically and mentally. For as much as I long to get on my bike, there's no way I can add one more thing to this equation. I seem to have more running around this semester than ever before.
Another reason for the feeling of deflation is due to an event yesterday. I submitted my painting "Tufted Friend" for a competition at school. It got in, and the award ceremony was last night. In my category, there were only five entries. They gave out four awards. Mine didn't get anything. Yes, yes, I know. You aren't always going to win or place in everything you enter....but.... It was a bit discouraging to be the only one who wasn't acknowledged. It was also another reminder of how hard it is to be a non-traditional student among a sea of young students. UA is definitely geared toward those young people. This too weighs on me as I have to compensate daily for not being a traditional student fresh from high school. And for every time I've heard how much the teaching faculty loves non-traditional students, the reality is far different being one.
I'm going to apologize here for the shortness of this post. I want to remain positive in all things, and my tiredness is launching my brain in a less than positive vein. I think I need some uninterrupted sleep. Maybe in a couple of weeks. Anyhow...have a good week everyone. Do good things!