I was watching Good Morning America this week (when I was supposed to be studying, but hey...sometimes the brain needs a chance to recharge) and they had on Tony Robbins for a guest segment. He said something that really resonated with me. He was advising someone on how to help a friend feel better and stated "...we all know those people who when they enter a room, they seem to suck the air from it. How do we not let the negatives impact us so much during our days?" He went on and led the group through a series of breathing exercises that was a form of meditation - it was breathing through the heart, focusing on feeling the air enter and exit our bodies, feeling our heart beating and thinking of three things in the two minutes of the exercise which we were grateful for. And after the two minutes, everyone in the group agreed they were no longer thinking and reacting from an emotional state - they were relaxed (and if you will) feeling much more centered and positive.
It is very easy to get into that reactive mentality. Being tired, hungry, overwhelmed, disappointed, stressed...they all make up the cocktail for reacting to day-to-day events and people you encounter. I unfortunately, let myself become too wrapped up in other people's thoughts. I let it influence how I think about myself and how I go about my day. I need to really focus and remember that I am the master and commander of me. And if I willingly allow others to control how I'm feeling, which impacts how reactive I become, then I am truly causing my own misery. Why let someone else have that much power over me?
Saying the words (or in this case, writing) is so much easier than walking the walk. But, it takes a single step to start a journey forward. I need to remember to take that step in my own direction. And when I find myself getting frustrated or stressed by others, I need to think about what my own actions or thoughts are doing to frustrate myself. And then stop it and breathe and be grateful for this day and this opportunity. I cannot control others. I can only control me.
Second week in a row where I've gotten a perfect grade on Linguistics homework. Yay me! I'm plugging along on my childhood painting. I've gotten to the eyes in the portrait of the child, and I'm completely stuck! But I refuse to give up. And despite the commentary coming from my professor, I'm definitely not too emotionally attached to this subject. It's more of I don't want to quit. I want to figure out how to make it work. My inexperience with the paint and a child's eyes are working against me. I will see this through. In Biology I'm facing another group project - and for a teacher who states that he himself hated group projects as a student, he certainly doesn't seem to have any issues with rolling out one after another of them. And after this one is done, we get to do another. Oh joy. I can honestly say that I won't take away anything from this class other than the methodology of teaching science really needs to change. The constant quizzes over subject matter that we don't discuss or really do anything with isn't conducive to learning. But the good thing is, it's about another month, and then I can be done with science for good.
I register for classes for the fall semester on Monday. I'm in a bit of a dilemma too. I made a promise to take a class at Pima this fall, and I have a conflict with my UA art classes. So do I respect that promise? Or do I schedule to best meet my needs at UA? It's a difference of one class at UA, and having to leave the Pima class by 4:30 to get back to UA for a 5:00 class. But I strongly feel like I need to honor the promise. Especially when other people have put their schedules on hold to accommodate that we would be taking this specific class in fall semester together. I've pretty much made up my mind that I will be taking the Pima class - I've missed the collaborative spirit that these fellow students and I shared since we last worked together. I've missed working with them and getting their feedback. They are truly my peers (in that, they too are non-traditional students who lived a life previously and now are back in school). This group lifts me and inspires me. It really isn't much of a dilemma after all, is it?
That's about it for me. One day at a time. And continuing with my Pinterest addiction, I thought I would post a pin that I found. I have an entire section of "Art I Admire". And the art inspires me too. When I start to feel discouraged, I search art online and get lost in the colors and techniques of other artists creativity. Pretty soon, I'm filled with beauty and no longer have room for doubt or negativity. Strength and positivity from a place inside me. I thought this painting exemplified where my thoughts were today in this post.