6/18/16...

I choose to live in a very visually-oriented world.  How can you not be an artist, and not be inspired by what you see?  I'm also a tactile person - hence my huge fabric collection that I am reluctant to part with these days.  Who I am as a person....the very core of who I am....is influenced by what I see, what I experience, what I'm exposed to....  I choose to be open to people and places and things that surround me.  And although I am introverted that doesn't negate the impact of what is happening around me having an effect on some part of my daily life.  I am profoundly saddened by the anger and hatred we experience in our daily lives.  It doesn't have to directly happen to me to not ripple into my thoughts.  As a human, how can I not feel saddened by all that is occurring as we destroy each other?  

It all raises so many questions within me.  Is your God greater than mine?  Is your drive to be more greater than mine?  Is your carbon footprint mightier than the person next to you?  Does your hatred and self-loathing overshadow your moral compass?  Why must we hate?  Why must we blame in the face of true tragedy?  Why can we not simply get along and coexist?  Does having great wealth make you a better person?  Why can't we hear one entire newscast just about good things?  Why can't love be colorless and genderless and simply be....love?  Why not be kind instead of angry?  

It all quickly becomes exhausting.  I am not an outwardly political person by nature.  Okay, okay....  I'm not very outwardly period (with the exception of this blog).  I rarely will get into a discussion about politics or religion.  And being cornered about my political or religious views will only get you vague answers.  That's just me.  It doesn't mean that I don't have views or an opinion.  It just means I tend to keep my thoughts to myself.   So when I use the word "profound" - you will have to trust that I truly am bothered enough to articulate how I'm feeling.  

Let's set the never-ending topic of current events to the side and focus on positives.  I'm really trying to live "positive out, positive in".  I started painting this week.  After about six weeks off, it felt great to pick up a paintbrush and start creating.  I'm still having some weird pain and numbness in my hand.  I have to take breaks every 20-30 minutes and shake out my hand and massage my forearm a bit.  I am still hopeful its temporary as it's better now than it was a week ago.  It probably hasn't helped that I've slept wrong and have tweaked my left shoulder too.  I don't know if it's the cooling system in the new place (i.e., I'll need to adjust to this too) and the wall unit blows across the bed during the night or if my pillows are wrong or if I'm just old and getting fragile...?   Who knows.  All I do know is I can't turn my head to the left without turning my entire upper body.  Makes walking Fred ever so much fun.  Ha!

It's funny.  At one time I couldn't imagine painting big.  I liked my little pieces of paper.  I thought 10 x 14 or 11 x 14 was big.  Then I painted on a piece of 22 x 30 watercolor paper and it was freeing.  I loved it.  And painting in oils on small is very difficult for me.  Even on the quick sketches I do for warm up, using small canvas means shifting the perspective and composition when I go big for a final painting.  I currently have a drawing/idea for an oil painting that I want to work on....and I have a medium sized canvas I'd love to paint it on.  Medium is now 18 x 24.  Amazing how my perception of painting size has changed as I continue my schooling.  I can hear Michael Nolan now telling me that wait until I start oil painting and will no longer want to paint small.  Yes sir.....you were right about this too!  I have a huge canvas (it fits in the back of my pick up truck - like the bed of the truck completely) that I'm dying to paint.  I have to save and savor it though as it was a gift and in this current lifetime, I'll never be able to afford to buy one myself! To give you perspective on how big.....I have it propped on the back of my couch in the new casa.  It's the entire length of my full-size 6 ft couch and reaches to the ceiling.  It was a bitch to move and I'm not exactly sure where I'll be painting it.  lol  Maybe on my balcony once the weather breaks.  

Well, that's all the news this week.  I'm hoping next week I'll have photos of new paintings to share.  I've exchanged out my photos on the website and created a Bio page too.  I have scholarships and awards and shows to share and celebrate.  

And while we are sharing and celebrating.....do good things this week.  Do something kind for someone.  Even if that means smiling at a stranger.  Life is short...today or tomorrow isn't promised.